The following are some of my favourite quotes, spoken by the Q, of course.
"We call ourselves 'the Q.' Or you may call me that; it's all much the same thing."
- Q
"Your little centuries go by so rapidly..."
-Q
"Perhaps with more of these little minds helping..."
-Q
"Temper, temper, mon Capitain. I am merely trying to assist a pitiful species."
-Q
Q: "You seem to find this amusing."
RIKER: "I might, if we weren't trying to rescue a group of suffering and dying humans who..."
Q: "Your species is always suffering and dying..."
"Tsk, a macro head, a micro brain."
-Q
"How that angers you: 'Seized my vessel, seized my vessel....'"
-Q
"The rigid Klingon code! Drink not with thine enemy! Which explains something of why you defeated them."
-Q
WORF: "If your 'game' is fair, we will."
Q: "For shame, Lieutenant Worf. Fairness is a human concept. Think imaginatively! It will, in fact, be completely unfair...
"Starship log, stardate today... This is Q, speaking for Captain Jean-Luc Picard, whom we consider too bound by Starfleet custom and tradition to be useful in this activity."
-Q
"No one has ever offered to turn you into 'God'?"
-Riker
"I come in search of truth."
-Q
"How touching. A plea to his former captain. 'May I please give some happiness to my friends, sir? Please, sir?'"
-Q
"Yes, I'm aware of how often you order picnics to be held in here."
-Picard
Q: "My, my- haven't we been careless? There-a little cleaning service I am more than happy to provide."
PICARD: "We agreed you would never trouble my ship again!"
Q: "I always keep my arrangements, sir. We are nowhere near your vessel."
"You are an impossibly stubborn human."
-Q
"Ahh, the redoubtable Commander Riker. And microbrain. Growl for me- let me know you still care."
-Q
"Not all of the Q are like this one. Some are almost respectable."
-Guinan
"You, by definition, are part of our charter. Our mission is to go forth- to seek out new and different life-forms, and you certainly qualify as one of the most different life-forms I have ever encountered. To learn more about you is frankly quite provocative, but you are next of kin to Chaos."
-Picard
"I add a little excitement, a little spice to your lives, and all you do is complain. Where's your adventurous spirit- your imagination? Think, Picard, of the possibilites."
-Q
"Stop- or you will surely die."
-Q
"You can't outrun them. You can't destroy them. If you damage them, the essence of what they are remains- they regenerate and keep coming...eventually you will weaken- your reserves will be gone... They are relentless."
-Q, about the Borg
"You thought you could handle it- so handle it." -Q
"If you can't take a little bloody nose- maybe you had better go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous- with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross- but it is not for the timid."
-Q
Q: "... and I have a much more serious problem... I am no longer a member of the Continuum. My superiors have decided to punish me."
PICARD: "And punish us as well, it seems..."
Q: "They said I've spread too much chaos through the universe, and they have stripped me of all my powers."
Q: "It is the truth. I stand before you, defrocked. I'm condemned to be a member of this lowest of species. A normal, imperfect, lumpen human being."
TROI: "Turning you into a human was part of their punishment...?"
Q: "No, it was my request. I could have chosen to exist as a Markoffian sea lizard or Belzoidian flea, anything I wished-so long as it was mortal- but I only had a fraction of a second to mull and I chose... 'this'... and asked them to bring me here..."
TROI: "Why?"
Q: "Because in all the universe you are the closest thing I have to a friend, Jean-Luc."
Q: "I have no powers. Q the ordinary."
PICARD: "Q, the liar. Q, the misanthrope."
Q: "Q, the miserable. Q, the desperate. What must I do to convince you people...?"
WORF: "Die."
Q: "Very clever, Worf. Eat any good books lately?"
Q: "The universe has been my back yard..... This is cruel and unusual punishment. As a fellow Klingon, if you would speak to the captain on my behalf, I would be eternally grateful... which doesn't mean as much as it used to, I admit."
WORF: "Be quiet or disappear back where you came from."
Q: "I can't disappear any more than you can win a beauty contest. If I ask a very simple question, do you think you can grasp it without troubling your intellect too much....? Read? If I still had powers, would I permit you to lock me away?"
WORF: "You have fooled us too often, Q."
Q: "Perspicacity incarnate. Please don't feel compelled to tell me the story of 'the boy who cried Worf'?"
Q: "I have been entirely preoccupied by a most frightening experience of my own. A couple of hours ago, I started realising this body was no longer functioning properly.... I felt weak, the life oozing out of me.... I could no longer stand... and then I lost consciousness...."
PICARD: "You fell asleep..."
Q: "It's terrifying..."
"Humans are such commonplace little creatures. They roam the galaxy looking for something, and they don't even know what it is."
-Q
"I think I just hurt my back. I'm feeling pain. I don't think I like it. What's the right thing to say.... 'ow'?"
-Q
Q: "Ow... I think."
CRUSHER: "Now what?"
Q: "Something's wrong with my stomach..."
CRUSHER: "It hurts?"
Q: "It's making noise."
CRUSHER: "Maybe you're hungry."
Q: "What do I ask for? I've never eaten before."
DATA: "The choice of meal is determined by individual tastes."
Q: "What do you like?"
DATA: "Although I do not require sustenance, I occasionally ingest a semiorganic nutrient suspension in a silicon-based liquid medium."
Q: "Is it good?"
DATA: "It would be more accurate to say it is 'good for me' as it lubricates my bio-functions."
Q: "It doesn't sound too appealing..."
Q: "I'm in a dreadful mood... Get me something appropriate...."
DATA: "When Counselour Troi is in an unhappy mood, she often has something chocolate..."
Q: "Chocolate...."
DATA: "For example, a hot fudge sundae. I cannot speak from personal experience, but I have seen it often has a profound psychological impact."
Q: "I'll have ten hot fudge sundaes."
DATA: "I have never seen anyone eat ten."
Q: "I'm in a really bad mood. And since I've never eaten before, I should be very hungry."
"Sure, the robot who teaches the course in humanities."
-Q
"One creature's torment is another creature's delight."
-Q
Q: "Picard really thinks I can't cut it on his starship... I can do anything his little trained minions can do."
DATA: "I do not perceive that your skills are doubted. I believe the captain is more concerned with your ability to interact successfully with .... his 'little trained minions'."
"I've never been any good in groups... it's difficult working in groups when you're omnipotent...."
-Q
CRUSHER: "If he was mortal, he'd be dead."
Q: "Let us not overstate matters here, Doctor... I am mortal and I survived.... The cheers are overwhelming."
"It is a bad joke. On me. I am the joke of the universe. The king who would be man."
-Q
"My life as a human being is a dismal failure. Maybe my death can have a little dignity."
-Q
PICARD: "Perhaps there's a little humanity left in Q after all."
Q: "Don't bet on it, Picard."
Q: "Jean-Luc! How wonderful to see you again! Well, don't just stand there, say something."
PICARD: "Get out of my chair."
Q: "I was hoping for something more along the lines of 'Welcome back, Q. It's a pleasure to see you again, old friend.'"
"You're simply impossible to find a gift for, Picard."
-Q
"Believe me, Picard, I'd be doing you a big favour if I simply turned her into a klabnian eel."
-Q
"Sir, I protest. I am not a merry man."
-Worf (couldn't resist)
"But what of your merry men? Are you willing to put them in jeopardy as well? Is Vash's life worth losing hers or his or even his(referring to Worf)....? Though I admit he would make a perfect throw rug at Nottingham Castle."
-Q
"What better way to celebrate a marriage than with an execution?"
-Sir Guy
"Tell me, Picard, as you stand here facing the termination of your insect existence, do you see what has led you to this end?"
-Q
"Hello, my name is Q."
-Q2
"When someone asks you about me, and they will, would you tell them I said- I've had three hundred years to think of appropriate last words... I wanted something memorable, quotable, you know?- 'I die not for myself but for you.' I know. I know. Enigmatic. Provocative. But they'll understand. Well, good-bye to you all. Many thanks. Here's the end of me..."
-Q2
"Oh, dear. That wasn't right."
-Q2
"Just... gone. I apologize... for the... inconvenience...."
-Q2 (about the disappearance of all male crewmen)
"Did anyone ever tell you you're angry when you're beautiful?"
-Q
"I am curious. Have the Q always had an absence of manners? Or is it the result of some natural evolutionary process that comes with omnipotence?"
-Tuvok (although not spoken by a Q, it is about the Q)
"I call myself to the stand."
-Q
"This is your own doing. You could live a perfectly normal life if you were just willing to life a perfectly normal life."
-Q
JANEWAY: "I do not appreciate your flirtations."
Q: "I always flirted with Jean-Luc too, but I never got the rise out of him that I get out of you."
"I traveled the road many times. Sat on the porch... played the games... been the dog... everything... I was even the scarecrow for a while..."
-Q2
"Oh, we've all done the scarecrow, big deal."
-Q
Q2: "At the beginning of the new era, life as a Q was one continuous dialogue of discovery and issues and humour from all over the universe... but look at them now... listen to their dialogue now..."
TUVOK: "I am afraid I cannot hear any."
Q2: "Because it's all been said. Everyone has seen everything, heard everything... They haven't had to speak to each other for ten millennia... There's nothing left to say."