Bleed Without Words

There's this feeling
deep inside of me
that's ripping up my insides
and bleeding me to death
I'm not accustomed to such feelings
-any feelings-
and you're not here 
to hold my hand.
I understand
exactly why you're not talking to me.
I understand
exactly what it was that made you stop.
I understand
exactly who it was that drove you
to cut yourself on your arm 3 times.
Because it was stupid of me.
Because it was stupid.
Because it was me.
Because this never should've been 
in the first place.
We were wrong 
for each other
from the start.
You're everything 
that's honest and whole and right
from this world,
and I'm just the pond scum.
I lie compulsively,
but for you 
I thought I might change.
I hoped I might change.
I guess I was wrong.
I still lied compulsively,
even to you.
You're everything
that's honest and good and right 
from this world
and I'm just the fucking pond scum,
worth less than shit,
always wrong,
always lying.
But that doesn't mean
I don't feel.
I do.
In fact,
there's this feeling
deeper inside of me,
ripping up my insides,
bleeding me to death.
I can't name it-
I've never felt it before,
how could I?
But now I feel it
everytime you walk away
without words
and I bleed.