There's this feeling deep inside of me that's ripping up my insides and bleeding me to death internally. I'm not accustomed to such feelings -any feelings- and you're not here to hold my hand. I understand exactly why you're not talking to me. I understand exactly what it was that made you stop. I understand exactly who it was that drove you to cut yourself on your arm 3 times. Because it was stupid of me. Because it was stupid. Because it was me. Because this never should've been in the first place. We were wrong for each other from the start. You're everything that's honest and whole and right from this world, and I'm just the pond scum. I lie compulsively, but for you I thought I might change. I hoped I might change. I guess I was wrong. I still lied compulsively, even to you. You're everything that's honest and good and right from this world and I'm just the fucking pond scum, worth less than shit, always wrong, always lying. But that doesn't mean I don't feel. I do. In fact, there's this feeling deeper inside of me, ripping up my insides, bleeding me to death. I can't name it- I've never felt it before, how could I? But now I feel it everytime you walk away without words and I bleed.