2000 Dear Journal, Looked through all my old journals today The ones that I could find Discovered inside myself something I thought I’d lost I need to talk to someone but no one’s there I never expected them to be I’ll just write a letter to myself and hope that I can read it later Or maybe Dragon can; she always has before. No, I won’t write. Oh the joys of the TOOTHPICK. Gone now is my satisfaction that I was right three years ago At least I can admit it now. I read some of my old entries and I wonder what I was sniffing Cappacino coloured chapstick Long long ago I would panic at the thought of death I stopped it And thought it had gone away Of course it came back to me this year I can only imagine what that means I hope its not what I imagine Please, Q, make it go away. Now I know why it began I know how it will end I know it will end now. I am issuing a formal apology To all those I have hurt through the years For every memory I have made sore For all the lost time For the last time I am sorry.