*
The next day begins normally, and I feel as if perhaps I have made it through this episode relatively unscathed -- no call last night from any overly concerned persons, no notes to go see guidance, no notice that anything might be amiss. So when the note comes third period, it feels as if someone's punched me in the head.
Juxtaposed against my feelings of -- what exactly? Anger? No... Betrayal? Maybe -- are my feelings of confusion. He told Guidance. Why hadn't I expected him to? Maybe I had half hoped he would, on some subconscious level I was blissfully unaware of, but I really hadn't held any strong belief that he would do anything other than forget about what I told him. Forget about me. Why hadn't he? Did he, for some strange reason, actually care? I didn't see how that was possible -- despite the fact that I was in his class for the entire ten months of the school year, we had never exchanged any personal conversations beyond a polite greeting in the hallways.
I miss the appointment set up for me -- I'd have to be crazy to go when they want me, because it would mean missing a very important class -- but Mrs. Cook, my guidance counselor, comes looking for me the very next period. I follow her back down to her office and we discuss the conversation I had with Mr. Grant. Its mostly a one sided conversation, with her expressing all of her emotions about the subject. I nod and try to reassure her that it's nothing, it's only happened once or twice so far and it's no big deal. I can tell by the looks she's giving me that she disagrees, but she has to let me go back to class.
Once again, I find myself in Mr. Grant's room, but he doesn't say anything to me the entire period. When the bell rings to end the day, he lets me go without a word.
*