The Anti-Cheese Association Presents to You
The Anti-Cheese Rebellion News
Vol. I, Issue I | July 3, 2042
A Letter From The Editor:
Congratulations. By picking up this
newsletter, you have just become a part
of history. This is the first issue ever of
the Anti-Cheese Rebellion News, an up-
to-date newsletter of the first rebellion
against the World-Wide Cheese
Association, which, as you all are aware
of, runs the world government (and not
very well, either, I might add). Thank
you for supporting our campaign against
cheese. We continue to hope that you
will do so in the future.

- G. S. Ninreut, Editor

Behold, The Power of Cheese
By An Anonymous Cheese-Hater

Who could have known the power that
television would have over the
population of the world when it was first
introduced in the 1950's to the general
public? Who could have imagined that
from this creation a new breed of
corruption and malfeasances would spill
forth to spread darkness around the
nearly perfect sphere of blue waters and
green grass? Certainly the innocent and
well-meaning inventor of this new form
of entertainment and news could not
have known nor imagined such a thing.
Yet the citizens of Earth should not hold
the creator of this electrical box
responsible for what evils someone else
has created for it, by it, with it. No, the
responsibility belongs solely on the
shoulders of that someone else.

How long has it been since one of us has
eaten a meal where the main course was
not cheese? How long has it been since
one of us has eaten a meal where cheese
wasn't served at all? How long as it been
since any of us have gone a day without
hearing the word cheese?

Ever since the late 1990's the people of
Earth have been plagued by the evils of

cheese, when the American Cheese
Association began a crusade to unit the
people of this planet under one banner
and one food: cheese. How did they do
this? By creating ads, otherwise known
as commercials, to place on the innocent
machine of burden (the television). In
the first commercial, they twisted Santa
Claus's diet from his normal milk and
cookies to cheese. Cheese! Then they
came up with more insipid ideas about
how to hook more people onto this
flavourless and frankly disgusting
foodstuff. And people bought into it!
Yes, that's right. Our very own ancestors,
with whom we give credit to for
renewing interest in space programs and
for creating all those wonderful, cheese-
less movies that we all love to watch,
bought into the cheese franchise!

Soon after these commercials aired, any
product which included cheese was in
much demand. These products' stock
skyrocketed, and soon cheese was the
only source of food that people would
eat. And now we, the descendants of
these people, are forced to eat cheese and
only cheese, so help us Cheeses.

I beg of you, dear Readers, to think of the
children, and the children of the
children. If you won't put an end to this
cheese madness for yourself, do it for
them. Growing up in a world of cheese is
just wrong.

Send in your letters to the Anti-Cheese
Rebellion News! Write to us at:

Anti-Cheese Rebellion News
3547 Secret Location Court
Townsend, WI 97634
Former USA

The Truth About Cheese Is Out There!

Compiled by Dana Quell