UST

Your voice breaks
in tune to the rhythym of your heart
and I can only stare at the floor,
listening to the words you're
struggling not to say.
My heart aches,
as it ends as quickly as it started.
I wanted more
but you just want it all
to f a d e away.

And all the words I could've said
vanish in the air.

You say you do this now
to save me from the hurt later
but apparently you don't realise
this awkward separation is still painful.
I keep my control
because you'd rather play make believe
that everything's all right.

Your initials are burdens on my chains.
I once wished for a relationship like this,
a fucked up runaway dream
of platonic romantic love
and unresolved sexual tension.
Well, now that I've got it,
I'm not sure I know what to do.

And now I've got you on the phone,
my voice identification enough,
but I don't know what to do with you, anymore.
I prepare for the conversation
I know is coming.
But all the words I cannot say,
they vanish in the air.