I see their faces
smiling and serious
mocking me
they're dancing together
laughing and loving
will I ever laugh like that 
or am I doomed to dance alone?

I hear their voices
though I try to block them out
muting the tv
but I still hear them
murmuring les mots doux to each other
will I ever hear those words
or will I forever be on mute?

I feel their love
such a heavy thing it is
bearing down upon their souls
even though it is part of them
he hands her the weighty cross he's held for her
and the sentimentality transcends all words he might've said
I wonder when I will hand my cross to someone.

I taste the metal iron of blood in my mouth
and know that no one cares enough to take care of me
like he does for her and she does for him
they fight their wars together, bleed together
take care of each other
There is no one to take care of me-
I won't even take care of myself.

I smell the bitterness of the past
and the hope of the future
there is no smell of fear there
for they have each other
I reek of nostalgia for the long gone yesterdays
and the fear of far-off tomorrows
will the smell of dying ever disappear or linger with the loneliness.

I see their love, hear their voices, 
feel the heaviness of the cross, taste my own blood
smell my own fears
the dark pit in my stomach gnaws at me
and there is no one to know
I want to cry but I won't
There is no one to hear it.