The Anti-Cheese Rebellion News Vol. I, Issue I | July 3, 2042 |
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A Letter From The Editor: Congratulations. By picking up this newsletter, you have just become a part of history. This is the first issue ever of the Anti-Cheese Rebellion News, an up- to-date newsletter of the first rebellion against the World-Wide Cheese Association, which, as you all are aware of, runs the world government (and not very well, either, I might add). Thank you for supporting our campaign against cheese. We continue to hope that you will do so in the future. - G. S. Ninreut, Editor Behold, The Power of Cheese By An Anonymous Cheese-Hater
Who could have known the power that
How long has it been since one of us has
Ever since the late 1990's the people of |
cheese, when the American Cheese Association began a crusade to unit the people of this planet under one banner and one food: cheese. How did they do this? By creating ads, otherwise known as commercials, to place on the innocent machine of burden (the television). In the first commercial, they twisted Santa Claus's diet from his normal milk and cookies to cheese. Cheese! Then they came up with more insipid ideas about how to hook more people onto this flavourless and frankly disgusting foodstuff. And people bought into it! Yes, that's right. Our very own ancestors, with whom we give credit to for renewing interest in space programs and for creating all those wonderful, cheese- less movies that we all love to watch, bought into the cheese franchise!
Soon after these commercials aired, any
I beg of you, dear Readers, to think of the Send in your letters to the Anti-Cheese Rebellion News! Write to us at:
Anti-Cheese Rebellion News The Truth About Cheese Is Out There! |